Is it still illegal to drag a dead horse down Yonge Street on Sundays?
From the war on chewing gum in Singapore to not feeding pigeons in Venice, legislation can get weird. I once read a breakdown of strange laws, past and present, specific to various American towns:
Do not wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in a church.
Do not ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
Do not let your outdoor cat out at night unless it’s wearing a tail light.
Do not cross a street while walking on your hands.
Do not give a lit cigarette to a monkey.
Do not fall asleep in a cheese factory.
In Canada, you must commit a serious offence to end up in the slammer. In Samoa, you could do hard time after forgetting your wife’s birthday. In Canada, car thieves get a slap on the wrist. In Thailand, you can get arrested for driving shirtless.
A fun mental exercise is to imagine why authorities felt the need to regulate certain acts.
Why were Torontonians dragging dead horses down any street on any day?
My wife and I once drove across Spain. At one of those roundabouts with no stop signs, I clearly goofed and hit the gas when it was not my turn. All the other cars went into horn mode. I didn’t get any middle fingers, as I would expect in this part of the world. One outraged pedestrian offered a spontaneous belly dance.
I don’t know what that gesture means outside of Barcelona. But it’s fortunate this fellow does not live in Egypt, where men are prohibited from belly dancing.
Which brings us to a prefecture in Japan. Authorities in Yamagata passed an ordinance this month calling upon citizens to laugh at least once a day.
The reason? Studies have revealed a link between LOL and good health. Laughter is the best medicine. It does wonders for your mood and cardiovascular system. It relieves stress. It bonds you to others. If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, laugh out loud while eating that apple and you’ll live to 100.
According to the Times, this new decree in Japan also “orders businesses to ‘develop a workplace environment filled with laughter’ and it designates the eighth day of every month as a ‘day of laughter,’ when it will be promoted with particular vigour.”
I’m assuming newsrooms are excluded. I’m also picturing cops storming offices and factories in search of sourpusses to tackle and tickle.
It’s the eighth day of the month! I’m going to read your rights and a knock-knock joke!
To be honest, I haven’t laughed since the LCBO went on strike. I’m jittering like a June bug in July. Still, I doff my chapeau to this new Japanese ordinance, even if I’m slightly confused. Wasn’t it generally frowned upon to smile at strangers in that country?
It’s as if Singapore suddenly mandated Hubba Bubba.
Not everyone is on side with the government’s move into mirth and merriment. The Times quoted one Toru Seki, identified as an assemblyman for the Japan Communist Party: “To laugh or not to laugh is one of the fundamental human rights guaranteed by the constitution regarding freedom of thought and creed as well as an inner freedom.”
He sounds fun! Imagine the scowling when he watches a rom-com.
But if this new laugh law is turning smiles upside down, there is a solution. Authorities in Yamagata do not need to put up CCTV cameras or bug the homes of locals to ensure the daily laugh quota is met. Everyone in Yamagata will double over in hysterics if authorities just send out a text every morning highlighting a weird law from around the world:
Do not dance while wearing a sombrero.
Do not get fitted for new shoes with an X-ray machine.
Do not educate dogs.
Do not break more than three dishes a day.
Do not tie your giraffe to a street pole.
Do not let your donkey sleep in the bathtub.
A theatre teacher once told me it was impossible to fake laugh. He challenged me to fake laugh. So I fake laughed as he watched with a straight face. The absurdity of this situation then made me really laugh. I couldn’t stop laughing. The teacher was not amused.
My point? We all need more laughter. These are depressing days. Wars. Climate change. AI. Disinformation. Cults masquerading as political parties. But we need to find solace and hope for the best.
It’s probably why Milan also has a smile law on the books.
Laughter is like exercise. You can’t get too much.
So forget the dead horses of yesteryear.
Be grateful to live in a country where horses are not required to wear pants.
