A moment of silence to remember when Ryan Reynolds was cool.
It started at birth. Then he was cool pretty much every day henceforth until a press release this week: “Tim Hortons partners with Ryan Reynolds to launch exciting new breakfast menu innovation in Canada and the U.S.”
I’m not sure how “Ryan’s Scrambled Eggs” qualifies as culinary innovation when we’ve been scrambling eggs for hundreds of years.
Next breakthrough: Ryan’s Poached Eggs? Ryan’s Sunny Side Up?
What is happening at Tim Hortons? Those rascals are up to something. I can feel it. Four years ago, they teamed up with Justin Bieber to push a “limited-edition selection of Timbiebs Timbits in Chocolate White Fudge, Sour Cream Chocolate Chip and Birthday Cake Waffle flavours.”
Now: “Ryan’s Scrambled Eggs breakfast boxes are made to order and include two scrambled eggs made with 100% Canadian freshly cracked eggs, crispy hashbrowns, a choice of sausage crumble or bacon strips, plus Tims iconic Chipotle sauce.”
Bieber and Reynolds are cool. Tim Hortons is not.
Similarly, the cool Keanu Reeves is now a pitchman for uncool Rogers. Really? John Wick loves Xfinity? If you watch the ads, you’ll notice Reeves has an identical expression when he is playing a video game with a nephew as Reynolds does while eating scrambled eggs with an assistant.
This is their worst acting ever — and it is brilliant marketing.
Tim Hortons is a brand Canadians either love or hate. I’ve shared my position in the past. I do not get why my dad, wife, daughters and so many friends swear by Timmies. It’s baffling. That’s not coffee. Are they even using beans? If I had to choose between a double-double or a quadruple bypass, shave my chest and bring on the scalpel. No anesthesia required.
But now my love of Ryan Reynolds is intruding on hating Tim Hortons.
I should be trashing this collab. Instead, I’m sitting here and thinking, “Well, a box of scrambled eggs endorsed by Deadpool could really hit the spot. Maybe I should give Tim another shot.”
“There’s something really special about having the chance to collaborate with such an iconic and beloved Canadian brand,” said Reynolds, perhaps unaware the company is no longer Canadian. “When I visited the Tim Hortons Test Kitchen, I took my role very seriously, by which I mean I ate an irresponsible amount of eggs. And honestly? I regret nothing,”
He is funny and the fast-food behemoth just co-opted his cool. This is an outrage.
Ryan Reynolds partnering with Tim Hortons is like Donald Trump endorsing compassion.
And how weird is it to see Reeves in Rogers ads during the NHL playoffs? (By the way, when should I jump back on the Leafs bandwagon?) Reeves is cooler than a cucumber in the tundra. Is there anything about him that conjures livestreaming, data bundling or 2 GBPS?
No. That’s why he is such a great pitchman. If the guy from “The Matrix” loves Rogers, maybe you should overlook that next outage.
All polarizing Canadian companies should adopt this marketing strategy. Find a beloved celebrity to offset any bad PR. Why is Canadian Tire not already working with Mike Myers after he recently wore one of their vintage logo T-shirts on “Saturday Night Live”? Why is Bell not hiring Seth Rogen to work in customer service?
He’d solve our problems with humour and no runaround.
Air Canada, meet Air Drake. Let the superstar give you tips on how to run an airline that does not frustrate customers logjammed at check-in to the point where they contemplate swimming to their destinations.
Loblaws, enlist Will Arnett to record PSAs you can play inside stores. Give him psilocybin and ask him to ramble in that dulcet baritone about whatever pops into his head: “There’s a leprechaun with a flame-thrower. But he only wants to cuddle and explain how quantum computing will prove life is a simulation and shoes are illiberal.”
Hearing that will really distract us from the exorbitant cost of shrimp rings.
I’m loving Pam Anderson’s new makeup-free look, including at this week’s Met Gala. But this is a real opportunity for a Canadian company. Imagine if MAC convinced Ms. Anderson to be a spokesperson and created ads around her dazzling return to cosmetics. Cha-ching!
Rogers and Tim Hortons are love-hate companies that are shrewdly partnering with beloved celebrities. Why are the Big Banks not picking up on this trend? CIBC should be on the phone with William Shatner’s agent to pitch a new campaign: “Finance: the final frontier. Our five-year mission. To boldly go where no investor has gone before with the Captain Kirk Fund.”
Ryan Reynolds just made it harder for me to bad mouth Tim Hortons.
Keanu Reeves is so cool maybe I won’t gripe about my Rogers bill this month.
What is happening and why does my brain feel like scrambled eggs?
