Two new movies ask: what do mothers want for themselves?

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year. The new film follows Linda (Rose Byrne) as she navigates fraught relationships with her daughter’s mystery illness, her absent husband and her therapist (Conan O’Brien). 

The movie comes out alongside another film exploring the hardship of motherhood and caretaking: Die My Love follows a young mother (Jennifer Lawrence) as she unravels after having a baby. 

Today on Commotion, film critics Teri Hart, Jackson Weaver and Roxana Hadadi chat with guest host Amil Niazi to review both films and discuss their contributions to the motherhood movie canon.

We’ve included some highlights below, edited for length and clarity. For the full discussion, including a review of the new TV show All’s Fair, listen and follow Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud on your favourite podcast player.

WATCH | Today’s episode on YouTube:

Amil: Teri, you have said that [If I Had Legs I’d Kick You] should almost come with a disclaimer about some of the triggering themes. What did you mean by that statement? 

Teri: Well, firstly, that trailer makes this movie sound a lot funnier and quippier than it is. It is not funny, it is not quippy. 

This [film] has stayed with me since TIFF, and I saw about 40 movies during TIFF, so it’s hard for something to stay with you when you see that many movies. There’s not a false moment in this. And what I meant by that disclaimer — and I say this very, very seriously — is for anybody who’s had a special needs or sick child or is experiencing that right now, there is not a false moment in this movie. And I do think people should know that before going in. 

The walls are closing in on Rose Byrne, and we feel that through every second of this film. I think there were moments [where] my legs were crunched up under my chin watching this movie. You feel her desperation, you feel her sadness, you feel her anger, and you feel her deep, deep, deep exhaustion, her exhaustion of everything. This is an absolutely empathetic and compassionate look at how a devastating illness can be for caregivers, and especially working mothers. 

WATCH | The official trailer for If I Had Legs I’d Kick You:

Amil: Jackson, this is also Conan O’Brien’s first big dramatic role. I think a lot of people have been waiting to see what he does after all the twists and turns of his career. How did you think he fared in this film? 

Jackson: I think he did great. I mean, I think there’s something in the comedian’s back pocket in general that makes some great actors…. Maybe comedians have an ability to not be so precious with their performances. They’re willing to be embarrassed or something. I don’t know what it is, but Conan O’Brien has whatever it is. I think he did great in this movie. 

Amil: Roxana, I want to go back to some of these themes around motherhood that we’ve been talking about in the show, whether it’s Die My Love or this performance that Rose Byrne gives in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. Both of these films are really grappling with a more complicated picture of motherhood than perhaps we’re used to seeing. What do you think these two films add to this growing canon of films around this idea?

Roxana: I think what is very clear [in both films] is the suggestion that there is this assumption of caregiving within motherhood, this assumption of something in your biology that just automatically turns on after you have a baby. 

Die My Love really rejects that. She has changed, the experience has changed her. She is a good mother…. But she’s stuck, otherwise, as a creative individual. I do think that that is what we’re seeing in this canon, which is that, yes, you probably can do the things that are forced upon you as a mother, you can caregive because your husband isn’t going to be there, you can be the person making the decisions. But how does it freeze you otherwise, and how does it stop you from growing as an individual? 

That’s also what Rose Byrne’s character in If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is going through. As she said in the [movie], she also works, she has this identity outside of motherhood that is not being fed through that experience. And we’ve had a couple of other movies like this. I think about Nightbitch with Amy Adams or we had Tully with Charlize Theron. Those are also navigating this question of: what is it about being a mother that changes you in the eyes of society and then also changes you in the eyes of yourself? And I think that changing-for-yourself thing is what these two movies are doing — in very different ways. 

I think it’s a really fascinating way to, yes, get at the tension of what does society want from these women, but [also] what do these women want from themselves? And I love the exploration of that question that these movies are doing.

You can listen to the full discussion from today’s show on CBC Listen or on our podcast, Commotion with Elamin Abdelmahmoud, available wherever you get your podcasts.

Panel produced by Ty Callender.