Q: My son and his former partner are going through a messy split, and as a grandmother I’m terrified that I’m going to be pushed out of my granddaughter’s life. They’ve stopped allowing visits, even though I used to care for her every week and helped them save significantly on daycare costs. Do grandparents in Ontario have any legal ability to get access or even decision-making responsibility over a grandchild?
A: In family law, it’s not unusual for grandparents to be among the first to feel the impact when parents start fighting. The bond between a child and a grandparent can be as significant as the bond with a parent, and when parental conflict escalates, it is often the extended family that gets cut off first.
Ontario law does recognize this dynamic, and while grandparents don’t have automatic rights to access or decision-making responsibility, they do have the right to ask the court for it.
The Children’s Law Reform Act allows any person, including a grandparent, to apply for a parenting order, and the court will weigh the request using the same standard applied to parents: the best interests of the child.
In practice, that means a judge will examine the child’s emotional, psychological and physical well-being, as well as the nature of the existing relationship with the grandparent. A long-standing and positive involvement, whether through regular caregiving, financial support or a consistent emotional presence, can be highly persuasive.
In today’s economic climate, many grandparents play a substantial role in child care or even contribute financially to housing and basic expenses. When a grandparent’s support has been integral to a child’s stability, courts will look closely at whether removing that bond would do more harm than good.
Requests for decision-making responsibility, which people still often refer to as custody, are less common but possible. These applications typically arise when both parents are unable or unwilling to care for the child full-time, whether due to addiction, mental health challenges, financial instability or ongoing conflict. The court will once again centre its decision on the child’s best interests.
Judges examine the child’s age, developmental needs, the history of their caregiving environment and whether the grandparent can meet the child’s day-to-day needs in a consistent and financially sustainable way. A court will also look at whether the grandparent has been a stable, reliable figure and whether they can support the child’s continued relationships with the parents, even if those parents are temporarily unable to act as primary caregivers.
Many grandparents want to know whether a parent can simply refuse to allow contact, and the short answer is yes, unless the grandparent steps in and asks the court to intervene.
A parent can deny access so long as they can justify that decision as being in the child’s best interests. However, if a grandparent believes that the denial is punitive or harmful to the child, they may bring an application.
Courts in Ontario have denied grandparent applications where involvement would be disruptive, conflict driven or contrary to the child’s stability. On the contrary, if the relationship has been positive, consistent and supportive, judges have not hesitated to order contact.
It’s also worth noting that Ontario courts have repeatedly emphasized the value of extended family relationships. The legislation itself directs judges to consider the strength of a child’s relationship with grandparents, and in many cases, the loss of that relationship would strip a child of emotional and sometimes financial support.
For grandparents facing exclusion, the focus should be on demonstrating how their involvement enhances the child’s life, supports rather than undermines the parental role, and complements the child’s overall support network.
If you find yourself in this situation, gathering evidence of your historical relationship, your caregiving role and your contributions to the child’s stability will significantly strengthen your position when seeking a contact or parenting order.
