For those who are coupled up, Valentine’s Day can come with flower deliveries and candlelit dinner dates. But for singles, Feb. 14 can be laced with eye rolls, discounted candy and moments of despondence.
The holiday’s “especially loud” romantic message can be hard to hear, wrote Sophie Grégoire Trudeau in a recent newsletter, admitting being “uncoupled at 50” doesn’t “feel amazing.” But, she reminded her readers, it can be an opportunity for “recalibration” and self-love.
This Valentine’s Day, plenty of Torontonians are in the same boat, which is why singles mixers, Galentines and straight-up anti-Valentine events are springing up across the city.
“Everything is oriented to couples,” said Silvia Puthuva of Dhoom restaurant, which is hosting a get-together for singles to write love notes to themselves. “It’s important to take care of yourself.”
You can get a different kind of catharsis by writing your ex’s name on a pinata bat at a party called Stupid Cupid, or try your luck at meeting someone special at a Ouija board speed-dating event. Here are five Toronto events offering an alternate Valentine’s Day experience.
For the romantics: Letters to Self
Feb. 12, Dhoom Toronto, 417 Danforth Ave., free
Everyone loves a handwritten letter, but you don’t have to wait for someone else to put pen to paper. On Thursday, Dhoom, a modern Indian restaurant on the Danforth, is inviting guests to profess their love to themselves. Attendees at the free event will receive stationery to pour their reflections into; a few days later, the love notes will be mailed back to them. Puthuva says the idea for the analog gathering came from a Parisian café’s letter writing event.
Survival advice: Puthuva feels it’s helpful not to zero in on “Valentine’s Day as a medium of finding somebody,” but prioritize finding oneself instead.
For the ladies: Will you be my Galentine?
Feb. 13, Sultan Ahmet, 26 Alexander St., $120
Sure, romance is nice, but have you ever experienced sisterhood? “Sometimes, we just want to spend time with girls in community while also serving ourselves,” said Mariam Nouser, content creator and co-organizer of this Galentine’s evening of guided meditations, flowers, a three-course meal and time to cultivate sisterly bonds. “You don’t have to base your self-worth or celebration on somebody else.”
Nouser said the invitation is an inclusive one. “It’s a space for all,” she said. “We weren’t specific — saying that you have to be a cis-woman.”
If you’re finding Valentine’s Day difficult, Nouser recommends remembering that Feb. 14 should be a day for love, period, for “finding community that fills your cup” and seeking out “pockets of joy” with friends, family “or even a co-worker that you really get along with.”
For the jilted and ragey: Stupid Cupid
Feb. 14, Saint John’s Tavern, 117 John St., $12
Are you sick of all things lovey-dovey? Got an ex that did you dirty? At Saint John’s Tavern’s Stupid Cupid event, you can write that scumbag’s name on a bat and go to town on a heart-shaped piñata, just like Jennifer Garner in “Valentine’s Day,” the inspiration behind the cathartic activity. Attendees are also invited to scream the lyrics to heartbreak anthems from Fall Out Boy and Avril Lavigne.
“It’s a little self-deprecating, but it’s also nostalgic, super cathartic and energetic for Valentine’s Day,” said Jennifer Ly, co-owner of Saint John’s Tavern.
Ly said that Stupid Cupid guests are welcome to descend from the anti-Valentine’s Day party upstairs to the business-as-usual bar to mingle with “dudes watching games” or “cute girls that are just out at the bars.”
“It naturally lends itself to first dates and great places to meet people,” Ly said.
Her Valentine’s Day survival advice? “Don’t give up. Figure out what your non-negotiables are. Be open-minded and remember to treat each other well.”
For the gothic daters: My Creepy Valentine’s
Feb 14., Catacombs Cabaret, 474 Queen St. W., $22.63,
If you’re in the mood to put yourself out there, there are a plethora of speed-dating socials happening around the city for Valentine’s Day. To add more excitement to your meet cute, why not let the spirits guide you?
Psychic Angel Morgan is hosting this event where singles are invited to connect with each other — and those beyond the grave. Expect lessons in summoning spirits via divination tools like the Ouija board and the pendulum while bonding over the spooky experience with other attendees.
For those who need a laugh: Valentine’s Day Comedy Date Night
Feb. 14, Comedy Bar, 945 Bloor St. W., $25
If all else fails, laughter truly is the best medicine. This Comedy Bar standup show features a lineup of comics sure to lighten up your Valentine’s Day, including Toronto-based comedian Kelly Zemnickis, who’s no stranger to CBC’s Radio LOL. Headliner Ryan Dillon has been featured on Kevin Hart’s LOL Network and Just For Laughs. Comedy Bar’s candlelit tables are the perfect spot to laugh or cry it out; it’s up to you.
