Lise Davidsen reigns as Isolde at Met Opera while balancing career and motherhood

“But as soon as they were born, everything changed,” she said.

After more than a decade of nearly constant travel from one opera house to another, building her career, she was never away from her infant sons over the summer for more than two hours at a time.

“Just to go to the grocery store or something,” she said. The idea of then taking them away from home to travel for work seemed “insane. And to be away from them for rehearsals and performances!”

Yet looming over her was a November deadline to start rehearsals in Barcelona, Spain, for Richard Wagner’s “Tristan und Isolde,” one of the pinnacles of the repertory for a dramatic soprano. And then she was due to fly to New York for a different production of the same opera at the Met.

“I told my husband many times, I don’t know if I can actually emotionally do this, or if I want to,” she said. “I was like, ‘Why do I sing?’ And he said, this is not the time to make that decision. We couldn’t have this discussion every day because it drove me mad and it drove him mad.”

Focus, and the fear of failing

In the end, a sense of obligation won out over any impulse to quit. And once in Barcelona, Davidsen found that the need to focus on mastering the role proved a welcome distraction from her personal turmoil.

”My fear of failing in this role was so big. I had to put my energy there,” she said. “Since I had not been singing for so long, and it’s a role that some people have been waiting for, that was pressure on top of these other things. So I decided to do my job rather than dwelling on my emotions.”

Any fear evaporated once the Barcelona production opened. The reviews were rapturous, with critics proclaiming her a worthy successor to Kirsten Flagstad and Birgit Nilsson, widely considered the two greatest Isoldes of the 20th century.

In New York, the response has also been euphoric from audiences and most critics — and from her fellow singers.

Ryan Speedo Green, the bass-baritone who sings the role of her husband, King Marke, is downstage facing the audience while she stands far behind him singing the “Liebestod,” the aria that ends the opera.

“To be on stage with her at that moment… I get goose bumps every time,” he said. “The purity of the sound, the feeling and understanding.… After the last note, I’m in tears. If I had to sing after that I’d be a wreck.”

Keeping commitments but taking fewer new roles

Now, as Davidsen nears the end of her run at the Met, she sounds more energized than exhausted, not like a singer contemplating giving up her career or even putting it on hold.

“When I left home I felt that I wanted to give up. I thought, this makes no sense,” she said. “It does make more sense now, maybe because the curtain has gone up a bit.”

She knows that other female singers have struggled with similar issues, though many of them had children earlier in their careers than Davidsen, who recently turned 39.

She said that for now she intends to honor appearances she’s already committed to but will be more sparing in undertaking new assignments.

“I don’t want to keep filling up,” she said. “I used to work all the time, and I don’t think I will do that.”

Still, a busy spring lies ahead. There’s a recital in Santa Monica, California; a concert version of Verdi’s “Macbeth” in Copenhagen; and then a multi-city Schubert song recital tour with her accompanist, pianist James Baillieu. For some of that travel, she’ll leave the twins with her husband.

“That will be the first time, but it will be only three days, so I should be able to do it,” she said.

Two major productions are already on her calendar for next season: opening the Met in “Macbeth,” and debuting as Brünnhilde in Wagner’s “Die Walküre” at the Salzburg Easter Festival. In future years, she’s also scheduled to sing Brünnhilde in Wagner’s complete “Ring” cycle at the Met. And after that, Peter Gelb, the company’ s general manager, said he plans to bring her back in the “Tristan” production.

An unexpected addition to her calendar

Meanwhile, her stay in New York is lasting a bit longer than originally planned. After all seven scheduled performances of “Tristan” sold out, she agreed to add an eighth, even though it means repeating the grueling role (the opera lasts more than five hours including intermissions) on a short turnaround. Her April 2 performance won’t end until after 11:30 p.m., and the added one begins at noon on April 4.

“I asked Lise if she would be willing to do it on 36 hours of rest,” Gelb said. “And she said, ‘I just rehearsed it back-to-back with orchestra, so why not?’”

“It’s so exciting,” Davidsen said of the added performance. “Maybe I’ve lost my sanity or something. I have no idea how I’m going to do it. I’m just going to rest as much as I can and hope it will work.”