When Caroline Leal was in the midst of her second maternity leave, her observations from visits to more than 45 countries lingered at the back of her mind.
“It’s when I started travelling with my eldest that I started really noticing infrastructure in other cities for families … but also noticing the culture of including families and children in everything,” Leal said.
“So I was like, ‘You know what? I just want to get out and about in the city, but still do things that fill my cup as a mom. Let’s try to look at what Ottawa has to offer.’”
Leal is the face behind Ottawa But With Kids, an Instagram account that helps moms and families with young children navigate the capital. Launched in March, the account has almost 40 posts ranging from nursing room reviews to walkable itineraries featuring coffeeshops, playgrounds and other spaces that are welcoming of kids and parents alike. The page has garnered more than 7,000 followers in just two months.
“It’s been really an eye-opener of how much there is an appetite and need for spaces that are still beautiful and cool and interesting and inclusive,” Leal said. “It’s been really motivating to be able to seek these places, but also to push places to think a little further in their inclusion.”
Leal said one of the main difficulties for mothers was simply finding the space they needed in public.
“Having that quiet, clean space when you have a baby that’s just losing it can be quite hard,” she said. “Going to events, like a concert or a show or a market, you’re often not going to have the spaces all around.”
Leal added that one of the key messages that she pushed forward on her platform was that it was not just about “nursing anywhere.”
“I also nurse anywhere. I think more people should be nursing in public, that’s great,” she said. “But that’s not everyone’s reality.”
Leal said there were “a gazillion reasons” to have a quiet space accessible to moms. She noted that some women may be uncomfortable nursing in public due to being new mothers or because of cultural and religious reasons. Additionally, some may need extra privacy and space to pump milk, while others may need enough room for an older sibling.
“They just need space to reset and be like, ‘Okay, now we can go back out,’” Leal said. “It’s not about yes or no, (or) whether one can nurse everywhere. It’s about acknowledging that parents, especially moms, have unique needs to be able to be present and active in public spaces.
“And one of those things is just a little break room, if you will, because it’s a big job.”
Recently, Leal posted a video about one of her follower’s experiences at the Canadian Tire Centre. During an Ottawa Charge hockey game on Mother’s Day, the mother had asked to use the quiet room to feed her baby, but was offered a room that Leal described to be a “storage-style utility space with bar-height chairs and equipment piled inside.”
Leal said that, with big venues like the CTC, parents often have to e-mail in advance to tell staff that they’ll need a quiet space.
“(It’s) ridiculous to begin with,” she said. “The amount of stories that I received after is mind-boggling. What I’m observing from stories like these is there’s not an established space, and therefore the experiences are inconsistent. Staff, while they can be very apologetic and pleasant, are not necessarily informed and they realize they just don’t know where to send these moms.”
Samantha Davey, the follower who reached out to Leal about her experience at the arena, said the amount of dialogue that came out of the post was “incredibly helpful.”
“I learned about the other rooms/ I guess there are three different rooms that (CTC staff) offer to people,” Davey said. “I got the worst one. But, if you know where to go, there are better options.
“I went to another game the following week and was able to use a nicer room. I just love that she posted that and opened up that dialogue.”
Davey, whose daughter is five months old, said Leal was doing “incredible work” through the Ottawa But With Kids page.
“It only just begins with her helping other local moms with finding spaces to visit with their families,” Davey said. “But then she goes beyond that by opening up important dialogues about the subject of accessibility to parents.
“I can say confidently that there’s been at least three separate occasions over the past two weeks where I’ve been out in public and I’ve gone to her page because I remembered her talking about a nursing room.
“(Leal) really inspires me to push my limits of comfortability and get outside and explore, or at the very least continue visiting places that I used to go to,” Davey said. “She’s helping not just moms right now, but other moms in the future.”
Brianna Empringham, a pediatrician and mother of two, is also one of Leal’s followers. She said she had a similar experience as Davey at the CTC.
“I was there with my toddler, who’s three, and my baby, who’s two months old. I actually first just nursed outside of the area, but it was pretty busy and she was getting distracted,” Empringham said. “I knew there was a nursing room, so I asked guest services.
“It’s great to have a nursing room. (But) it was the worst nursing room I’ve ever seen. There were only foldable chairs and it had obviously been used for storage as well.”
However, Empringham said she still hesitated to consider that CTC room a bad one.
“I think it’s pretty normal, and by normal I’ll use that in quotations,” she said. “There are a lot of places with nothing, including places that are profiting off of events particularly geared towards children. In general, there’s a lack of accessibility for nursing rooms or even family washrooms.”
Empringham said Leal’s Instagram account had “filled in a gap.”
“I don’t know of any other places that’s doing local stuff like that geared towards young families,” Empringham said. “But (it’s) also the fact that she’s highlighting places that are good. It just shows that there aren’t that many.”
For Leal, it’s about making sure everyone’s integrated.
“(It’s) just really thinking of a multigenerational approach to city living, so, if a coffee shop is beautiful and has great coffee and treats, but also happens to have a little play area,” she said. “I’m not talking about a play cafe. I’m really talking about integrating family life.
“I think that would make it a more holistic approach to family living in an urban area.”
At the broader scale, Leal said, people need to acknowledge that design and urban planning should have a “lens of care.”
“When we design a city, we really need to think a little bit further (about) what being a carer looks like,” Leal said. “And thinking about how we make sure that we can take care of each other and our families in public spaces.
“Give it a second — if there’s an event that you are marketing as a family-friendly, all-ages event — to really think about what that means.”
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