On Saturday, Jennifer Zabarylo was at her best friend’s wedding. The next day she was dead. Her husband is charged with second-degree murder.
In the days leading up to her tragic death Sunday night, Jennifer Zabarylo was in her happy place.
She was doing what she did best in life, helping others and celebrating as she put the finishing touches on Amy Lamontagne’s wedding in Carleton Place on Saturday.
The two had been best friends for more than 30 years, dating back to Grade 10.
“We had spent the last few days together,” said Lamontagne, holding back tears as she talked over the telephone about the enthusiasm and spirit Zabarylo brought to the world.
“It was like old times. We were laughing all the time. We had a girls night. She was so full of energy, always working to help people. She was helping me set up and was so ridiculously happy.”
Then came the shock of hearing about Zabarylo’s death at her two-storey home on Lady Slipper Way in a quiet rural neighbourhood, west of Stittsville.
“I’m still in disbelief,” said Lamontagne.
Zabarylo’s husband, Michael, is facing a second-degree murder charge for what Ottawa police are describing as a femicide, “occurring in the context of intimate partner violence, which is one of many forms of misogynist killings”.
He first appeared virtually in court on Monday, where he said he was aware of the charge against him. He is due back in court on Wednesday morning.
According to Lamontagne, Jennifer’s body was found by the couple’s two young adult children, Katie and Dylan, who called 911.
Lamontagne says Jennifer had told her, two months ago, that she was planning on divorcing Michael, but says she had not heard about any previous violent incidents.
“They were living in separate rooms,” she said. “They were planning on selling the house and they were trying to settle things amicably. None of us, as a group of friends, could have expected this.”
Lamontagne wants the world to remember her best friend for everything she brought to the world.
In addition to her job as a business manager and comptroller with the Royal Canadian Navy Headquarters team, she had a side business as a wedding and events planner.
Jennifer also regularly volunteered as a timer and scorer at Calabogie Motorsports Park.
“I have so much respect for her,” said Lamontagne. “She was the best mother and her children need her so badly. She is an amazing mom and an amazing friend. She went out of her way to help people. I can’t believe that someone can do this horrible thing to her.”
Likewise, Ted Rance was almost at a loss for words while trying to come to terms with the loss.
“She was always friendly and good-humoured,” said Rance, director for the race series at Calabogie Motorsports Park, who worked races alongside Jennifer. “It was always a pleasure to have her in the control tower. The race community has lost one of its own. This is felt by all of us, as well as by her family.”
Ever since details of the tragedy emerged, those who knew Jennifer best have expressed their deep condolences to her remaining family on social media.
Rance last talked with her on Friday evening. Racing was in her blood: her father, brother and uncle are deeply immersed in the motorsports world.
“All seemed fine with her, but I had no real association with her personal life,” Rance said. “The only hint that something might have been a little irregular is that she asked us to drop Zabarylo from her name two months ago. We had always known her as Jennifer Edmonds-Zabarylo.”
Her current and past employers also offered help to her family in their grief.
“We are shocked and deeply saddened to learn of her tragic death,” National Defence said in a statement. “We are offering our support to her family and colleagues. We offer our deepest condolences to her loved ones during this difficult time.”
She had previously worked as a business manager for Public Services and Procurement Canada, who offered similar sentiments.
“We are deeply saddened to hear of the tragic passing of Jennifer, who was a valued employee at PSPC for 18 years, from 2000-2018,” the statement read. “We send our heartfelt condolences to her loved ones, as well as her current and former colleagues.”
By using the term femicide, Ottawa police have drawn wider attention to what the service describes as “the killing of women and girls because of their gender” and unequal power relationships between men and women.
The Ottawa Coalition of Violence Against Women says many cases of intimate partner violence are unreported.
“Our hearts are with her loved ones and everyone impacted by this senseless and preventable loss,” the coalition said in a statement. “Now, more than ever, we must continue to address the root causes of violence and push for stronger, community-centred supports and prevention measures.”
The sad story has also touched the larger community.
Chelsea Walton, who has previously worked at Harmony House and Chrysalis House, didn’t know Jennifer personally, but took to the Stittsville Moms Facebook group to register her sympathies. She has also lit a candle on her doorstep in her memory.
“I have worked in shelters,” Walton said in a telephone interview. “Her death weighed heavily on me and I went to a forum that is usually light, on topics like where to eat, but I felt like I had to say something or do something.
“We have a tendency to look away from these things, but maybe it’s an opportunity to shine some awareness on this issue that is happening in our community and in our country. I’m really angry that these things keep happening over and over again.”
Lamontagne says it does serve as a wake-up call for all women who might be in a dangerous situation, but she also wants people not to lose sight of who her best friend was.
“I want people to know she was a good person.”
X: Citizenkwarren
