A surrogate pregnancy goes off the tracks. And so does this legal thriller at Crow's Theatre

Sameer (Fuad Ahmed) and Jake (Thom Nyhuus), a gay couple living in New York City, are trying to have a child via surrogacy. But when their gestational carrier, Marya (Sarena Parmar), has a medical emergency while visiting her teenage son in Louisiana, a state that does not recognize the intended, same-sex parents of a child born via surrogacy, all three are plunged into a sea of legal and moral quandaries. 

As Marya, who is 28 weeks pregnant, experiences a series of seizures that threaten her life and the viability of the fetus, the stakes could not be higher. 

But as this climactic scene unfolds in director Christopher Manousos’ chic world premiere, I found myself trying, desperately, not to giggle. I wasn’t alone. Around the Streetcar Crowsnest’s intimate Studio Theatre, set up with an elongated thrust stage and the audience on three sides, I saw others with their hands covering their mouths, shoulders bobbing up and down. 

That scene, if it isn’t already clear, shouldn’t have a funny bone in it, or anywhere near it. But Zaidi’s play so mangles its tone and comic timing, trafficking throughout in excessive melodrama, that it feels impossible not to laugh when the show finally hits its inevitable climax. 

Zaidi, a British author and lawyer who lives in New York City, is best known for his award-winning memoir, “A Dutiful Boy,” about his experience growing up as a gay man in a strict Muslim household. That “The Surrogate” marks his first work for the stage is almost immediately apparent. 

Within the play’s first few scenes, Zaidi squanders his compelling premise with unearned plot twists, stilted dialogue and misplaced humour (vagina jokes, anyone?) that betray the weight of its subject matter. 

At times, “The Surrogate” comes across like a parody of “Modern Family.” Yet it also feels as clinical and emotionally hollow as a legal case study. 

Good dramas are built on flawed characters. But while “The Surrogate” certainly has many of them, Zaidi’s characters are also so deeply unlikable that it’s impossible to ever root for them. 

Ahmed’s Sameer is arguably the worst — a ruthless lawyer who’s answer to any problem is to throw money at it or threaten a lawsuit. His husband, Jake, a chronic Instagrammer, is almost as unlikable for his sheer ignorance to his husband’s red flags. Meanwhile, head nurse Christina (Antonette Rudder), who continually butts heads with the parents-to-be, hides behind her not-so-quiet bigotry. 

Zaidi’s play, unfolding over the course of a single night, does explore some fascinating ethical dilemmas. But the show too often loses its focus; “The Surrogate” at once wants to be a legal thriller, a relationship drama, a play about religious identity and a comedy that all ends — so unexpectedly and improbably — with an all-too happy ending. 

The ensemble cast (rounded out by Siddharth Sharma as Marya’s son, Qasim) try to make the most of the material. But their performances ultimately come across as wooden and lacking depth, with exaggerated facial expressions and didactic, colourless line readings. 

This production’s only redeeming feature is Manousos’ staging, with a similar polished quality to that which made his revival of Shakespeare’s “Measure for Measure” a hit last year. Here, the intense lighting designs by Chris Malkowski propel the show forward like a bullet train. They’re often paired with Maddie Bautista’s atmospheric sound designs, filled with swooshes and sonic flourishes that help to ratchet up the tension.

But none of these elements can overcome what’s left wanting in Zaidi’s writing. At the heart of his story is a surrogate pregnancy that goes off the tracks. So too, unfortunately, does this entire play.