I remember lying in bed as a child, listening to the radio and hearing the moving song, “Thanks for the Memories,” sung by the late comedian Bob Hope.
Today, I’m feeling much deeper nostalgia for the remarkable 40 years of my lifetime career working for the Toronto Star.
Now, I’m retiring.
It’s been fulsome and fantastic years of engaging with Toronto Star readers. It became a mutual relationship when I wrote my advice column for the last 23 of those years.
Oddly enough, it was because the famous American-based advice columnist, Ann Landers, had died.
I’d read every column of hers in the Star since I was an early teen, fascinated by her readers’ personal stories and Landers’ insights.
After she passed on, I called the Star’s then-publisher, the late John Honderich, and asked him, “What about a made-in-Canada relationship adviser?” He said “Lunch!” And the deal was done. I called it, simply, “Ellie.” It was syndicated across Canada.
Honderich immediately launched a $1 million campaign to promote my new column. Billboards blasted my face on the sides and back of every bus in Toronto, just like the Carrie Bradshaw ads on “Sex in the City.”
As the Star’s relationship advice columnist, I answered thousands of letters and emails over the years. I’m grateful for the loyalty and trust of every reader who sought my advice, even those who disagreed with me. I learned all sides of people’s personal situations.
So, how did I land in the field of professional journalism?
Back when I was a young mother with two school-age children, I wrote freelance articles at home and sent them to magazines and newspapers. To my surprise, all were published.
Then I received an unexpected phone call from The Star’s then-managing editor, Mark Harrison, who invited me to join the newspaper staff as a reporter. It was the chance of a lifetime. I became a staff reporter writing daily news. Next, the Family Section editors put me in charge of the Food, Fashion and Home sections.
One year, I was sent to cover the Paris “showings.” While interviewing Chanel’s creative director Karl Lagerfeld about “the maxi skirt,” he called over an employee to deliver a skirt in my size.
I carefully said, “It’s lovely.” He said, “it’s yours.” I said, “I can’t take it.” He tried once more to give me the skirt, but I refused. That’s when Lagerfeld, smiling, said “The New York Times doesn’t take freebies either.”
It was a proud moment for me.
During that same time, the Star boasted some fearless female reporters including the late, and sadly missed Christie Blatchford, plus the remarkable Rosie DiManno, whose hard-hitting truths are still regularly delivered on A2.
Then, I proudly became the Star’s first-ever female Sunday Editor. It was a big title for a very popular weekend paper. I remained as the editor throughout the astonishing baseball World Series of both 1992 and 1993!
And those were only the early years …
Next, I was assigned to the Star’s investigative unit … and everything changed.
My most significant story was about the Dionne quintuplets, one of Canada’s most fascinating yet shocking tales.
They were the first five identical newborn girls, hailed as worldwide wonders, and then exploited for years.
The provincial government recognized the babies’ enormous political and economic value, including a specially built “tourist attraction” named Quintland, where the girls were displayed like caged animals. The girls were placed under guardianship of four provincial appointees with three acts granting control until they were age 21. Money poured into the government’s “guardians,” but not to the quintuplets themselves.
Over the years, extravagant expenses and dubious billing practices bled the women’s trust funds by half. Finally, the three surviving sisters — Cecile, Annette and Yvonne, after the earlier deaths of Emilie and Marie — sought fair compensation from the province.
I wrote daily accounts about the women’s determined efforts and an avalanche of 6,000 faxes and letters of support arrived at my newsroom desk. Readers expressed their great empathy for the women and outrage over years of their being exploited.
I packed boxes with the letters and handed them over to Premier Mike Harris’ in his office.
Finally, after legal negotiations, the women received $4 million in compensation. It was a joyous highlight of my time at the Star.
Soon after, some remarkably big investigative stories followed, including the story of Raoul Wallenberg, a Swedish diplomat based in Budapest during World War Two amid Nazi terror. I heard about Wallenberg from a woman in Toronto and was amazed by his story.
At the neutral Swedish legation, Jewish residents living in Hungary and hiding for their lives begged him for help. Wallenberg designed a self-styled “protection passport” providing Swedish immigration permits which he handed out. He personally sheltered people for safety in his own apartment, including a baby born there (maternity hospitals were closed to Jews). He protected the delivering mother by remaining outside his own door, holding a gun.
He named the baby Yvonne after one of his relatives and considered her his goddaughter. She grew up to attend a ceremony years later in 1997, along with Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. I accompanied Yvonne Singer to the unveiling of the Wallenberg Monument — honouring Wallenberg’s selfless bravery — by the Queen, at Western Marble Arch Synagogue.
Meanwhile, my Toronto Star work-related connections were expanding. A Canadian-based TV show called “Outlaw In-Laws,” started in 2007, hired me to be “the Talent,” guiding warring in-laws towards some mutual understanding.
It was long, gruelling work, travelling across Ontario in the middle of winter with a TV crew, but it was rewarding and a new adventure for me. Throughout, those TV scripts were a basis for helping families heal their differences.
Several years ago, the #MeToo period began, with people of all ages and backgrounds speaking out about having experienced sexual abuse. I asked readers to send me, anonymously, their own stories. Most were heartbreaking.
Their letters committed me firmly to my work.
Now, having reached retirement, I’m delighted that my daughter Lisi has chosen to do the important work of offering relationship advice … in the tradition of the daughters of Ann Landers and her twin sister, Dear Abby.
Thanks to all my readers for sharing these memories with me. I loved the varied jobs and learned enormously from special colleagues who’d accepted a “newbie.”
Thanks especially for the past 26 years since I met and married a colleague there. While loving the newspaper, I’ve loved him too.
To work at something deeply meaningful is a gift. I hope that all who’ve read this have also achieved personal satisfaction in life, and that you continue to find and maintain it, whenever possible.
