Amazon shopping list of the future: toilet paper, AA batteries, headphones, vitamins, slippers, novelty mug and … a new car?
Yes, the online behemoth is racing into the automotive sector this week. For now, only the U.S. site will let shoppers load a Hyundai into their cart. But Amazon’s stated mission is to be, “Earth’s most customer-centric company, Earth’s best employer and Earth’s safest place to work.”
Not sure the delivery guys would agree with “best employer,” especially on days when they are peeing into an empty Gatorade bottle because they still have 84 stops to make before sunrise. But three Earths in one tag line means it’s only a matter of time until every car brand in every country hands over the keys to Jeff Bezos as their chosen middleman.
I will say this about Amazon’s founder and executive chair. The man never rests on his laurels, even while lounging in a tight T-shirt on Koru, his $500-million superyacht. He started with books and now he’s eyeing cars? If there weren’t regulations, Amazon would be the No. 1 retailer of firearms, tobacco, alcohol, military drones and human organs.
There’d be a thriving Amazon Pets. Prime members click a button and the next day a chihuahua is on the porch. There’d be Amazon Cosmetic Surgery, Amazon Realtor, Amazon Psychics, Amazon Little League, Amazon Divorce and Amazon Amazon, in which the actual rainforest is bulldozed and turned into Earth’s largest fulfilment centre staffed by Portuguese-speaking robots.
Alas, Amazon Autos sounds like a bad idea for a car industry stuck in neutral.
Most people would rather get a root canal in a strip mall than shop for a new ride. The high-pressure sales tactics, the myriad decision-trees, the shape-shifting MSRP, the regional rebates, the astonishing profit margin on rustproofing, the free coffee that smells like turpentine. It’s very stressful.
Amazon knows this. More important, it knows it can fix the dealership experience by cutting out the dealership. In the market for a new Hyundai? In a few clicks, you will get a no-haggle low price, a binding quote for your trade, financing options and all of the paperwork can be e-signed. For now, you still need to schedule a pickup date. But even that will change after Amazon Logistics figures out a way to get 30 dudes to carry a boxed Ioniq to your driveway.
Instead of teaming up with Amazon, shouldn’t car dealerships fix their own websites? Brands should centralize inventory counts and knock it off already with these pop-up chatbots. No, Alison, I don’t have any questions. I just got here. Hang on. I just tried to virtually build an R model and the screen froze after I selected Ontario as my province.
Alison, instead of hassling me, tell IT there is a bug in the code!
The psychologist Barry Schwartz published a great book 20 years ago titled, “The Paradox of Choice — Why More Is Less.” The basic thesis is that too many choices amplify consumer anxiety. If memory serves, the cover art was a carton of eggs. It should have been an SUV.
Car manufacturers? You don’t need Amazon. You need fewer trim levels and a ruthless cull on options. When my dad bought a new car and I tagged along as a kid, I can only recall the salesman asking two questions: “What colour do you want? How do you want to pay?”
That was it. My dad didn’t need an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of 50 rim styles. There weren’t nine versions of the same car depending on wraparound cameras and subscription GPS. The salesperson did not try to upsell my dad on air-conditioned seats, which is fortunate because pops would have hurled a stapler at his face while saying he’d be perfectly fine with a wooden stool.
I had to buy a new car this year after our trusty Honda CR-V was stolen. I ended up doing more research than I did in fourth-year university. The paradox of choice, indeed: Well, if you want the backup sensors you need the tech package that also includes sonar and bat-grade echolocation. No, you can’t opt out of the heated steering wheel in Nappa leather, but I can throw in a free oil change. Sir, that aquamarine hue is a premium metallic finish that costs $2,500.
You’re charging me for a colour? Is there a hidden fee for cabin oxygen?
Why is Amazon revving into the automotive sector? Because it knows consumers love Amazon and consumers hate buying cars. This is an industry ripe for disruption. What I don’t understand is why salespeople are cool with potentially forfeiting their commissions to Mr. Bezos.
Amazon wants you to be as disarmed buying a car as you are with toothpaste.
One day we will all buy cars online. And dealerships can only blame themselves.
