Finally, a beauty trend we can all embrace.
Telling someone they look tired was once as rude as asking if they were pregnant. Fatigue was never a compliment. Now it is. Per a CNN story this week: “The latest fleeting TikTok beauty trend? Looking tired.”
I haven’t been this happy since “nerd” became a term of endearment.
According to CNN, the poster girl for the “Tired Girl” movement is Jenna Ortega, who stars in Netflix’s “Wednesday.” Her eyes are “lightly smudged, framed by dark shadows.” Her face is “pale.” Her cheekbones are “accentuated by a dash of grey.” Her lips are “tinged purple.”
Based on this description, it’s not clear if Ms. Ortega just finished a 36-hour poker marathon or is suffering from hypothermia. But looking exhausted is the goal: “The latest Gen Z makeup trend, ‘Tired Girl,’ celebrates the look of not having been to bed.”
What’s next? Pencilled arched brows to look like the bank just foreclosed on your home? 3D tattoos to simulate painful hernias? Fake wrinkles?
Actually, there is a Faux Freckles TikTok trend. The youngsters are also monkeying around with Snail Facials and DIY Dimples, which sounds ghoulish. If you’re not born with natural indents, I don’t know, maybe just shoot a ball bearing at your cheeks until everyone thinks you are Jennifer Garner?
The style whims of the young are fascinating to older generations. And by fascinating, I mean bewildering. The other day, my daughter walked into my office. She was wearing a new hat she ordered for hip-hop dance class.
I almost fell out of my chair.
This monster’s skull was casually topped with a New York Yankees cap. That’s like showing up to one of my barbecues in a MAGA hat. The crazy thing is she didn’t even know what she was wearing. She just liked the logo. I explained why the Bronx Bombers are an enemy in this house.
She rolled her eyes and giggled.
I later realized the horrified look on my face was probably identical to the one that rippled across my dad’s face when I came home one day from high school with a pierced ear and gold hoop earring.
He stared at me in disbelief, like the cops had called to say I robbed a Mac’s Milk.
But this Tired Girl trend? Amazing. Inspiring. Wonderful. Tired Old Man gives two thumbs up! It’s like when youngsters started dying their hair grey. It felt like the opposite of ageism. It felt like a defiant celebration of the inevitable, a screwball thrown at the chinny chin chin of Father Time.
Is that a poli-sci major working at Starbucks or someone’s grandma?
As I sit here with airbags under my eyes, it’s strange to suddenly be a fashion icon. Jenna, you should start other cultural trends. Make it cool to sit on the bed while putting on your socks. Get restaurants to increase the font size on menus or hand out miner’s helmets.
In the flickering candlelight, I can’t tell if I’m ordering frittata or fettuccine.
Forgetting where you left your keys should be a new TikTok challenge. It’s certainly safer than frying chicken in Nyquil, swallowing Tide Pods or applying Burt’s Bees lip balm to your eyelids.
As the company noted after that trend went viral: “There are lots of natural things that probably shouldn’t go in eyes — dirt, twigs, leaves, food — and our lip balm.”
I am tickled by dry messaging. America’s VP, JD Mascara, is vacationing in the U.K. this week and the protest signs are as awesome as this looking exhausted trend: “Cotswolds Childless Cat Ladies Say Go Home.” “JD Vance’s Netflix password is ‘password.’” “SOD OFF! Free Speech.” “JD VANCE CLAPS WHEN THE PLANE LANDS.”
And, remember, JD does everything he can to not look bushed.
Even though he probably wakes up several times each night after having flop-sweat nightmares in which he is chased around a corn maze by a chainsaw-wielding Tariff Man who is joined by a Zohran Mamdani conjoined with Ho Chi Minh, a love seat in seductive lingerie, a gun-pointing Kristi Noem who believes JD’s beard is an unruly Pomeranian and a talking Epstein Files that keeps saying: “DJT appears in me more than Miguel de Cervantes name-checked Don Quixote.”
But I digress. This is what happens when you are exhausted and giddy because young people now want to voluntarily look exhausted. Welcome to the club, kids. Misery loves company. The next time someone says I look beat, I will kiss their forehead and reply: “That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
Eventually, we all look like we haven’t slept in days.
Lean into it while you are still young.
