Defence lawyers brought in a Vietnamese culture expert for the Lam sisters’ murder trial on Monday to provide context for the jury.
Chau Kanh Lam and Hue Ai Lam are both
charged with first-degree murder
in relation to the death of their mother, Kieu Lam, in October 2022.
Both sisters pleaded not guilty to the charge, saying they were physically and verbally abused by their mother.
Throughout the trial, defence lawyers argued that the sisters couldn’t leave the townhouse they shared with Kieu because of cultural expectations and pressures. In Vietnamese culture, children are expected to take care of their aging and elderly parents to show filial piety, they said.
Filial piety is a core value in Vietnamese culture that defines deep respect, obedience and care for one’s elders. It is also often used as an expression and obligation of gratitude towards one’s parents.
On Monday, the defence called Daniele Belanger to the stand. Belanger is a Canada Research Chair in Global Migration Processes at Université Laval and has published research about Vietnamese culture, especially about intergenerational family dynamics and gender roles.
She told the jury that family is the foundation in Vietnamese culture and society, especially during hard times.
Filial piety is taught to Vietnamese children at a very young age, that they owe their lives to their parents, Belanger added. Hy sinh, or self-sacrifice, is something that must take place silently and willingly.
There is also a notion of asymmetrical reciprocity in Vietnam, she said. Vietnamese children are seen as “owing” their parents who gave them life, and their lives belong to their parents.
This can be seen in the idea of
tình cảm, or care, she said. Children are expected to take their parents into their home as they grow older and care for them physically. This can also be in the form of financial contributions, where children give money to their parents on a regular basis.
Chau previously testified that she
sacrificed her life to stay at home and take care of her mother
, where she was beaten and socially isolated.
Language, shame as a disciplinary tool
In her testimony, Chau also said Kieu would often insult and verbally abuse her at home.
Chau said her mother would call her a whore, a prostitute and a “b–chy c–t” that nobody else would love.
Belanger testified on Monday that some Vietnamese parents use strong language and insults to discipline their children.
“There’s research indicating that language is a strong tool to educate and to discipline children or adult children. The way this is done is through the use of negative, direct language that will put people down,” she said.
“There is a scholar who worked on the use of insults as a way to discipline or to control, and he specifically worked on mother-daughter relationships in the south of Vietnam. … He showed that the use of powerful language insults is a way to seek compliance or to control.”
Shame, or threats of it from the larger community, is also used as a disciplinary tactic, Belanger added. This would include collectively laughing at a kid if they were being insolent, or telling someone that their family will “lose face” in the community if they did something considered disrespectful.
But the threat of shame also means a lot of Vietnamese people hesitate to find care for their parents, Belanger added. Vietnamese children will often avoid seeking help as much as possible because it would not be fulfilling their duty to care for their families, which would bring shame.
Previously, the court learned that Kieu was moved to a nursing home so Hue and Chau could escape the abuse. However, the elderly woman
only stayed in the nursing home for three days
before she was brought back to the sisters due to pressure from their eldest brother.
“The centrality of Confucianism and the emphasis is the duty to care for one’s parents, sending parents to a nursing home is is very problematic, because it’s seen as a failure to provide to fulfil one’s duty,” Belanger explained.
“The second aspect is given this importance and this duty home-based care is really the preferred arrangement.”
‘Girls have to acquire value towards parents’
Chau also told the jury during her testimony that her mother never showed love towards her and her sister since they were children.
She said her mother would say “con gái là con người ta,” or daughters are other people’s daughters. This is an old Vietnamese phrase that describes when a daughter is married, they become the daughter of the husband’s family.
It is also used as a phrase to describe a preference for sons over daughters among traditional families.
On Monday, Belanger said Vietnam is a patrilineal society and families often prefer sons over daughters.
“Obedience towards one’s parents is stronger in the upbringing of daughters than in sons,” she said.
“There’s a strong inequality in how in the in the sense of responsibility that is instilled in children early on … Sons have intrinsic value because they’re male. So they can be naughty, they can be whatever they are. They are fine. Their status is sort of guaranteed.
“Whereas girls have to acquire value towards their parents. In order to acquire this value, they have to perform their obedience.”
Our website is your destination for up-to-the-minute news, so make sure to bookmark our homepage and sign up for our newsletters so we can keep you informed.
