Q: I’m a father going through a separation, and I’ve been told that courts almost always side with mothers when it comes to custody. I can’t afford to start a legal fight if I don’t have a real chance. Do fathers actually have rights in Ontario family law?
A: This is one of the most persistent myths in family law.
In Ontario, there is no legal preference for mothers over fathers. Courts do not decide parenting cases based on gender. Instead, decisions are made using a single governing principle: the best interests of the child.
The law does not recognize “mother’s rights” or “father’s rights” as separate concepts. What determines the outcome is not who you are, but how you have parented and how you propose to meet your child’s needs moving forward.
That said, many fathers face practical challenges after separation. If one parent has historically taken on more day-to-day caregiving, courts may be reluctant to disrupt that arrangement abruptly. This is not a punishment of the other parent; it is an attempt to preserve stability for the child.
Fathers who assume they have no chance and disengage early often unintentionally weaken their own position.
Unmarried fathers sometimes face an additional challenge in establishing legal parentage. If paternity is not in dispute, this can often be addressed quickly through acknowledgment or a court declaration. Once parentage is established, unmarried fathers have the same rights and responsibilities as married fathers, including the right to seek parenting time and decision-making responsibility.
Fathers are also entitled to access important information about their children. A parent with parenting time (previously referred to as “access”) has the right to receive school records, medical information, and updates about a child’s well-being, even if they are not the primary decision-maker. Being excluded from information without a valid reason is not acceptable.
When disputes arise, evidence matters. Courts look for practical proof of involvement, such as communication with teachers, attendance at medical appointments, participation in extracurricular activities, and consistent time spent with the child. Text messages, emails, school records, and witness testimony can all help establish a pattern of meaningful parenting.
Financial considerations are also closely tied to parenting disputes, and fathers should understand that child support and parenting time are legally separate issues.
A father does not lose the right to see his child because support is owed, nor can parenting time be withheld to force payment. Once parenting arrangements are established, child support is generally calculated under the Federal Child Support Guidelines based on income, parenting time, and certain shared expenses.
Fathers who are actively involved in their children’s lives, particularly in shared parenting arrangements, may see support obligations adjusted accordingly, but support remains the right of the child, not the other parent.
One common mistake fathers make is assuming they must “fight” the other parent to win. Hostile or aggressive behaviour often undermines a parenting claim. Courts value co-operation, emotional regulation, and a demonstrated willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. A parent who appears focused on the child, rather than on blame or revenge, is far more persuasive.
Another damaging error is moving out of the family home without a parenting plan or reducing contact with the child during separation. While sometimes unavoidable, these choices can quickly become the established arrangement, which courts are often reluctant to change.
Fathers play a fundamental role in their children’s lives, and Ontario family law recognizes that. The key is not to prove you are the “better” parent, but to show that your continued involvement serves your child’s best interests.
Waiting, withdrawing, or assuming the system is stacked against you can have long-term consequences. Early legal advice can help clarify your options, protect your relationship with your child, and ensure your voice is heard.
