It’s as if there was a feud between Thanos and Voldemort.
Who do you cheer for when both sides are repulsive? Popcorn sales are booming this week as two death stars in the Trump 2.0 galaxy — Elon Musk and Peter Navarro — are firing space lasers at one another.
This one escalated faster than Blake Lively vs. Justin Baldoni.
Thanks to the Most Idiotic Trade War in History, Musk’s vast fortune is taking buckshot. The markets are crashing like a malfunctioning Tesla. According to Fortune, Musk “has lost the most of any person on Earth. On Friday, his net worth declined by $20 billion — with year-to-date declines totaling (sic) over $130 billion.”
That’s a lot of Occupy Mars T-shirts. But don’t send a care package of Cup-a-Soup and Ritz Crackers just yet. Musk remains the richest man alive.
But he is confronting a dilemma.
He spent millions to catapult his guy into the White House. Now his guy is playing a game of chicken with the global economy that threatens his business interests.
Musk needs someone to blame. Enter Peter Navarro, Trump’s trade whisperer, tariff kook and Before Photo in a Botox ad for glabellar and frown lines. Navarro looks like an old-timey magician who refuses to pull the rabbit out of the hat in case the hat was made in China. Then he retires to a porch swing to bemoan the unfair spice trade in Mesopotamia.
After Musk pooh-poohed tariffs, Navarro told CNBC this whiner is a mere “car assembler.” He made Tesla sound like a potluck, with parts coming from Japan, China, Taiwan.
Musk fired back and said Tesla is “the most vertically integrated auto manufacturer in America with the highest percentage of U.S. content.” Then he turned into an insult comic and called Navarro “truly a moron” and “dumber than a sack of bricks.”
He gave his nemesis a new name: “Peter Retarrdo.”
I won’t lie to you. It’s fun to watch MAGA maniacs gnaw on each other’s faces.
The White House is downplaying the bad blood. On Tuesday, spokesperson Karoline Leavitt dismissed it with, “Boys will be boys.” Right. This isn’t a serious rift in the Trump 2.0 galaxy. It’s just two third graders swapping noogies and atomic wedgies.
All press secretaries spin. Ms. Leavitt is a tornado of lies.
I’m surprised the cross she faithfully wears has not spontaneously combusted.
You know who should take this feud seriously? Her boss.
Musk is the only person on this planet who is more transactional than Trump. As with all the billionaires now showing signs of buyer’s remorse and panic disorder, Musk figured he could scaffold Trump 2.0 to build whatever he wanted. That was the tradeoff. Trump would lavish these Richie Rich man-boys with tax cuts, deregulation and sweetheart contracts. He’d kill all government oversight. He’d turn their broligarch fantasies into policy.
Trump would be too busy golfing to torch the economy.
Then came the arson. Musk isn’t mad at Navarro — he is furious with Trump. This is a proxy war and Peter is the patsy. Trump’s bonkers misunderstanding of trade has forced his well-heeled backers to finally realize the emperor has no clothes. He is a nudist smeared with Cheetos dust. This unease with Dear Leader is spreading across Fox News and the GOP by way of distancing, quiet warnings, flop sweats, antacid abuse and even Freudian slips.
At a fundraising dinner on Tuesday for the National Republican Congressional Committee, Minnesota congressman Tom Emmer accidentally addressed Trump as “President C—t.”
Republicans now feel like they are hostages to Peter Retarrdo and President C—t.
The language Musk is using to ridicule Navarro has a familiar ring. Earlier this year, Politico reported on a 2020 meeting between Musk and Trump. Quoting an anonymous source who was present, Musk allegedly called Trump “a f—king moron” behind his back.
That sentiment has bubbled up this week, with Navarro serving as the seat filler. Trump doesn’t care what anyone thinks — except for Elon Musk. Trump fears Musk in the same way he fears Vladimir Putin. He knows they are both more powerful.
This is why Trump should be terrified of Musk’s attacks on Navarro.
They are an attack on him.
Both Musk and Trump are used to getting their way. Musk is not getting his way as markets tumble and the Tesla brand vaporizes. But unlike the other lobotomized cultists, he won’t be quiet. He will also greenlight his inner circle to start throwing bombs at the obvious target.
His brother Kimbal Musk recently wrote on X: “Who would have thought that Trump was actually the most high tax American President in generations. Through his tariff strategy, Trump has implemented a structural, permanent tax on the American consumer.”
Maybe Donald Trump will blink and hit the tariff pause button.
Oh wait, he just did!
Welcome to the resistance, Elon.
