In an emotional testimony on Wednesday, Chau Lam said she was scared of her mother and was forced to live in isolation all her life.
Chau and her sister Hue Ai Lam are facing first-degree murder charges in relation to the death of their mother, Kieu Lam, on Oct. 31, 2022.
Both sisters have pleaded not guilty to the charges, saying they suffered from years of abuse. The trial is now in its third week.
Chau told the court through a Vietnamese interpreter that her mother was a strong woman who loved her sons but never showed love towards her daughters. Kieu never hugged Chau or Hue, nor did she ever tell them she loved them.
“She would tell me that daughters were other people’s daughters,” she said, referring to an old Vietnamese phrase that when a daughter is married, they become the daughter of the husband’s family.
It is also used as a phrase to describe a preference for sons over daughters among traditional families.
Chau and Hue also had to follow strict rules imposed by their mother.
Kieu would forbid them from leaving the house without her permission since they were children, Chau said, even though both sisters had happy social lives at school.
The sisters were also expected to always obey, care for and respect Kieu, especially as she grew older, as a sign of filial piety.
Filial piety is a deeply ingrained value in Vietnamese culture that defines deep respect, obedience and care for one’s elders. It is also often used as an expression and expectation of gratitude towards one’s parents.
If they disobeyed, their mother would beat them using the handle of a broom or her hands while scolding them, Chau said.
Chau also said her mother would often beat them for no reason.
“I would never yell back at my mother, because that was considered very insolent,” she said.
Chau told the court her mother continued to isolate her after immigrating to Canada.
Kieu would forbid Chau from taking English language lessons even though she wanted to, the jury was told.
Chau also said she did not have any friends because she was never allowed out of the house except for work as a babysitter, a job she had for many years with her mother’s approval.
She also said she did not have any opportunities to explore Ottawa, despite living in the city for decades.
‘I was heartbroken’
The jury heard that Chau was expected to cook, clean, cut her mother’s hair and trim her mother’s fingernails and toenails at home. Chau was also expected to help her mother bathe.
The jury was also told that that the physical and verbal abuse continued after the family moved to Canada.
Kieu would often beat Chau using the handle of a snow removal brush to the point where it broke.
Chau told the court that at one point, she ran away from the beatings and hid at a nearby school until her older brother came and brought her back home.
“I had no place else to go,” she said in Vietnamese.
The jury also heard of a moment when Kieu pushed Chau’s forehead while her daughter was cutting her nails.
Chau said Kieu would call her a whore, a prostitute and a “b–tchy c–nt” that nobody else would love.
“She said this even though I sacrificed my life to take care of her,” she said, her voice breaking as she started crying on the witness stand.
“I was heartbroken … It felt like my mother was stabbing me in the heart with a knife again and again.”
Abuse intensified week before homicide
The jury heard that Kieu’s abuse intensified in the week leading up to the homicide on Oct. 31, 2022.
Previously, the jury heard that Chau and Hue killed their mother while she was sleeping by hitting her with a hammer and strangling her with a piece of string. Crown attorneys also
played a recording of Chau’s interview with police
in its entirety, where she confessed to killing her mother.
Chau testified that Kieu would physically and verbally abuse her almost every day after she came back from the nursing home, where the elderly women
stayed for only three days after pressure from Chau’s eldest brother Minh Huynh.
Chau’s other brother Chanh Huynh testified in court earlier this week that he, Chau and Hue initially moved Kieu into a nursing home so his sisters can escape her mother’s abuse.
In Vietnamese culture, putting elderly parents in a long-term care facility is often considered a sign of disrespect, and children are often expected to move their aging parents into their home to care for them.
The constant beatings were what pushed her to her limit, Chau said.
Chau told the jury she killed her mother to protect her sister and herself.
“My mom was scolding and hitting me,” Chau said, crying a little. “It felt like a funeral home.”
‘I loved my mother’
The court heard on Wednesday that Chau was afraid of telling people about the abuse.
She never wrote any of it down, nor did she confide in her friends, she said.
Chau also said she was afraid of telling her teachers, who were very strict, and the police.
“I didn’t dare tell them. I thought that if I told them, they would tell other people and fabricate and add other things into that story. If it got back to my mother, that would be very difficult,” she said through a Vietnamese interpreter.
She was also afraid nobody would believe her.
“Who would believe that an old woman was bullying a young person? Often we hear stories about young people bullying the elderly,” she told the court.
But Chau said she loved her mother despite the abuse. It never occurred to her that she could move out of the residence they shared and leave, she said.
She said she bought Kieu’s favourite snacks and food when she went on a trip to Vietnam with Hue before the COVID-19 pandemic, which she brought back with her to Canada.
“I miss my mother a lot. I love her so much,” she said on Wednesday morning, her voice cracking a little.
