Looking for better love: I'm an introvert looking for a kind woman who is never rude to servers

Gender: Male

Age: 75

Looking for: A monogamous relationship with a woman.

I find the other ads in this section a bit intimidating. Neither lawyer nor doctor or engineer heralded my retirement.

I am unique.

I have lived in a commune.

I have sat up all night nursing a traumatized Unix server that had failed to shut down gracefully.

I was a mercenary in the cola wars.

I adore klezmer music.

My two encounters with celebrities were serving Leonard Cohen when he patronized my outdoor newsstand in Montreal and seeing him with Irving Layton (great friends!) at a loft party given by a painter whose tax forms I prepared.

I struggle with interpreting social cues from time to time, and have trouble with small talk, inevitably blurting out some wildly inappropriate insight or obscure obsession of mine. On the plus side, this means you’ll know that everything I say comes right from the heart — and I’ll never lie to you.

My dating history

I’ve never been married, but I’ve had two long-term relationships. After finishing some years in psychotherapy, my romantic hopes are once more revived. I realized that my basic issue was loneliness. This gave me hope, as about one-third of the world’s population has this issue. One major advantage in dating me is that I am very unlikely to be judgmental about your past misfortunes, and much more likely to empathize.

What I’m looking for

I am an introverted person, so it’s vital to me that I can have quiet time with my partner. Intimacy is crucial, too: hand-holding, taking a partner’s arm while walking, all the many varieties of hugs. Casual, heart to heart, erotic, grateful, comforting, swift yet meaningful glances are of great importance to me. I want to pamper my queen: oatmeal, Epsom salts and ginger baths with essential oils await in my bathroom spa.

I desire to share my thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams in the hope that a lover will reciprocate. A pleasure shared is double, after all, whereas a sorrow is halved when borne by two. You will never have to dim your light so that mine may shine more brightly. I will celebrate all your successes and comfort you in your times of sorrow. I strive for the Buddhist quality of mudita: sympathetic joy in the happiness of others.

Please do not be rude to service staff, whether it’s servers, repair personnel, nurses or clerks. Issues of social justice fascinate me and are dear to my heart. I would like for us to discuss them and find ways to work toward a more just and equitable society.

Why I’m doing it this way

Online dating hasn’t worked out so far, so I am trying to be vulnerable and describing myself exactly as I am, right here in print. If you’ve read this far, you undoubtedly have a sophisticated and resilient sense of humour. It warms my heart that you’d take the time to read this whole thing.

Now that you know who I am, I want to know who you are. What moves you? What excites you? I’d love to hear all about it.

Lightning round with Moses

What three movies would you take to a desert island?

“Hester Street,” “Young Frankenstein” and “Blazing Saddles.” 

What was the last fun outing you had?

Every morning when I cycle along the lakeshore. The sunlight is different every day and the water fowl are so serene.

What are you most afraid of?

That I will forever be wed to loneliness.

What is your favourite food?

My homemade sourdough bread. When it is toasted the crust is so crisp I want to hug myself.

If you could spend the day with one celebrity, who would it be and why?

My mother, may she rest in peace. She had a love of humour that led her to risk her life for a joke. When she was in a forced labour camp in the USSR during WWII she would sing a Yiddish song when strangers were around: “with a firm hand rules Stalin our land, our blood not to be shed.” However when with friends she would sing “with an IRON hand rules Stalin our land, our blood not to shed.” Plus she had a razor wit. We had our challenges, but I would really like to just spend time with her and eat the little snacks she prepared.