The male silverback gorilla, while often mellow by nature, can be a ferocious beast. Weighing up to 440 pounds and measuring five to 10 times stronger than a human, he has fiercely strong arms and almost no body fat. The fast-twitch fibres in his jaw deliver remarkable bursts of raw power, producing a bite force higher than even a lion’s.
His much smaller relative, the chimpanzee, has been known to rip off fingers and faces. Imagine what a gorilla could do. Imagine what he could do to you.
This is the crux of a viral question that has dominated internet circles in recent days: In a fight between one gorilla and 100 men, who would win?
It is the perfect bar stool hypothetical and a stance either way is, certainly, unprovable. Still, the Star turned to two primatologists, a five-time Canadian jiu jitsu champion, a part-time stuntman and a sociologist to try to get an answer — and simultaneously understand why, after hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, we are still fascinated by the prospect of a battle with one of our closest relatives.
No one can quite agree whose side to take.
“That’s not a contest,” said Ian Colquhoun, a retired primatology professor at Western University. “Humans will win.”
“The gorilla isn’t tapping out,” countered Joel Gerson, a Canadian jiu jitsu champion and the owner of Revolution MMA & Fitness in North York. “He’s going to beat you with your own arms, which he ripped off.”
Online, the parameters of such a fight are unclear. Is it a fight to the death, or just to exhaustion? Are the 100 people a random sampling of the population, or a group of highly-skilled fighters? Is this battle in a UFC octagon, a wide-open plain or the forests of Rwanda? Are improvised weapons — such as rocks and sticks — permitted?
For this thought experiment, the rule book will be minimal. After all, any parameters must be explained to an ape.
“The rules meeting in this one is getting thrown out the window,” Gerson said. “Can human limbs be used as improvised weapons by the gorilla? And if not, who’s going to tell the gorilla? Not me!”
The case for the gorilla
According to David Begun, a professor at the University of Toronto who studies the evolution of great apes, humans would be at an immediate disadvantage. We are a “domesticated version of our ancestors,” Begun said, and “quite weak.” Our bones are slender and not strongly developed.
And we pale in comparison to the gorilla. Heavier than all but the biggest NFL linebackers, and certainly more agile, they have two-inch long canine teeth and defend themselves in the wild. Look no further than the chimpanzee — which on rare occasions has mauled humans, leaving them in critical condition — to see what something more than twice its size could do.
“In a group of 100 guys,” Begun said, “the first 10 guys are going to be in pretty bad shape.”
Then there’s the fear factor. In a battle where the first fighters get punched into putty, those still alive may no longer run eagerly into the quarrel.
“When humans see other humans getting ripped to shreds, you have to understand, there’s no guarantee they’re going to go in,” Gerson said. “You’d probably have to have their children as ransom or something so they’d agree to do it.”
That’s why Gerson is on the gorilla’s side. Unless he’s fighting alongside 99 Brazilian jiu jitsu brown or black belts, he is sure the humans will lose.
The case for the humans
Jerry Oei is less certain. The training director at Xtreme Couture in Etobicoke and a part-time stuntman, Oei believes he can win the fight with just 40 average men — provided they are “psychologically prepared for what we’re up against” and “willing to die.”
His justification? Humans’ greatest strength: intelligence and the ability to work together.
The human brain is the largest and most complex of any living primate, and three times larger than that of a gorilla. It is an asset that proved hugely advantageous as early humans evolved, helping us with social interactions and dealing with unfamiliar habitats, according to the Smithsonian Museum.
And while Oei admits “some of these guys are not coming home to their wives,” he believes our brains and sheer numbers tilt the odds in our favour. Send a few “suicide berserkers” to pin the gorilla down, Oei said, and eventually, the humans will win.
Begun, the University of Toronto professor, envisioned a similar scenario.
“If 100 people really decided that they definitely wanted to subdue a gorilla,” he said, “they could probably do it by taking turns, by strategizing, by exhausting the gorilla, even if they didn’t have any tools.”
And if humans can use improvised weapons like rocks and sticks, Colquhoun, the retired primatology professor, believes it would only take six to 10 people to win.
It should be noted that humans, albeit with weapons, have done this successfully for years. Populations of both eastern and western gorillas have been decreasing for decades, according to the World Wildlife Fund, and both are considered critically endangered by the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources.
Why do we care?
To Jillian Sunderland, a sociologist at the University of Toronto who researches masculinity, violence and social media, this viral debate is interesting for another reason. It points to the desire to have something non-political to talk about, something with “low political stakes” that won’t become hyperpolarized, like everything else.
That being said, she has her opinions.
“I thought,” Sunderland said, “the gorilla would win.”
