The dumbest suspension in TV history is over.
On Monday, ABC announced the return of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” The news broke around the same time noted medical expert Donald Trump was holding a press conference on autism. Dr. Trump, flanked by more conspiracy theorists than at a Bigfoot conference, claimed the illness was caused by Tylenol. Or vaccines. Could it be Wi-Fi? Labubus?
At one point, Dr. Trump blanked on “rubella.” His brain wanted to say, “Nutella.”
There is no shortage of material awaiting Mr. Kimmel on Tuesday night.
But corporate behemoths such as Disney are running out of time to absorb this existential threat matrix. Waving a white flag whenever Trump attacks will only hasten more attacks. A grizzly doesn’t just nibble on your toes.
ABC figured the Mad King would leave them alone when they agreed to settle a winnable defamation lawsuit last year and pay $15 million. They were wrong. CBS figured the Mad King would leave them alone after they settled a meritless lawsuit and ponied up $16 million. They were wrong. The Mad King is even suing friendly media barons such as Rupert Murdoch.
Trump is a malignant narcissist with tangerine skin as thin as graphene. All criticism, however accurate, is met with boo-hoos and blunt-force trauma. He hates “The View” so much he is threatening to revoke the citizenship of Rosie O’Donnell — and she left the gabfest a decade ago.
Retribution is Trump’s oxygen. He is probably demanding all scientists left in his banana republic resurrect John McCain just so he can revoke the Purple Heart.
So I will not give Disney CEO Bob Iger too much credit for doing the right thing by reversing the dumbest suspension in TV history. Consumer blowback was probably a bigger factor than courage. Sending Kimmel to cathode purgatory triggered boycotts. People were cancelling their Disney Plus subscriptions faster than when they walked out of the “Snow White” remake.
Actors on Disney projects condemned the disciplinary action. Dozens of celebs — including Ben Stiller, Martin Short, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Selena Gomez, Jennifer Aniston — became boldface signatories to an open letter supporting free speech.
For the life of me, I still don’t get why Kimmel’s monologue landed like a thermonuclear bomb in Trumpville. But the important thing: ABC is finally drawing a line, taking a stand and adopting a defiant posture, even if this high road is really about the bottom line.
John Oliver put it best on Sunday. There are only four appropriate words in response to the intimidation demands of a bully: “F—k you. Make me.”
The Jimmy Kimmel saga is a warning to all media outlets: You either fight the Mad King or forfeit free speech. This is binary. It is a zero-sum game.
Cave in and the Mad King will keep caving in your head.
The New York Times didn’t flinch when Trump filed a preposterous $15-billion lawsuit last week. Then a federal court quickly tossed the suit last week like it was an arugula salad. As judge Steven Merryday wrote: “A complaint is not a megaphone for public relations or a podium for a passionate oration at a political rally or the functional equivalent of the Hyde Park Speakers’ Corner.”
Every CEO should tack those words on the wall followed by Oliver’s bon mot.
There is a reason autocrats start by going after the media and court jesters who lampoon their absurdities. There is no Chinese Stephen Colbert cracking wise about communism on Beijing airwaves. There are no job openings for anti-government cartoonists in Turkey. An edgy standup set can get you beheaded in Iran. Upon taking power, Vladimir Putin was enraged by a puppet show that mocked him as a soulless and faceless homunculus. He forced the network to sell to an oligarch pal who promptly cancelled “Kukly.”
Two decades later, it’s easier to find an orange tree in Moscow than political satire. This is Trump’s wet dream.
He longs for a late-night landscape in which every host is a Greg Gutfeld clone or some other MAGA dope who is all blind praise and no funny bone. But if leaders across civil society would just shout those four words in lockstep — “F—k you. Make me” — President TACO would cave and move on to something else, like blaming chlamydia on Advil.
I hope Jimmy Kimmel comes out swinging on Tuesday night, dukes up, tongue as sharp as a samurai sword. And I hope CEOs stop cowering and start fighting back against this wildly unhinged and unconstitutional Trump 2.0 while they still can. You can’t claim to cherish the First Amendment if all you really care about is a second helipad on the superyacht.
Dr. Trump does not care about his stethoscope. It’s the remote control that animates him. And all of this is so much bigger than late-night comedy.
American democracy is teetering toward the abyss.
Fight now or watch it vanish.
