The heat of the lights, the thrum of the orchestra, the applause — this is what David D’Lancy Wilson and Aphiwe Nyezi have always dreamed of. The two men play father Mufasa and son Simba, respectively, in the “Lion King” musical in Toronto, eight shows a week.
The work fulfills them. But it isn’t the most fulfilling aspect of their lives by far, they say. Every day, the two men are riveted — elated, even — by something many take for granted: fatherhood.
“It’s the single greatest joy that I have,” said Wilson, who is from Ajax, Ont. “I say that (having experienced) Mufasa. I say that (having experienced) a standing ovation. And I say that that pales in comparison to who I am when I’m offstage.”
This Father’s Day, Wilson and Nyezi are reflecting on both the musical and what it means to be a dad.
The 27-year-old “Lion King” explores themes of family, bravery, responsibility, vulnerability and, most of all, fatherhood. It hits close to home for Wilson and Nyezi, who’s from Cape Town, South Africa. Wilson has two boys, ages six months and three years; Nyezi has two girls, ages six months and five years.
Fatherhood is the best, and hardest, occupation, the two men say. Harder than remembering the lyrics to “Hakuna Matata.” Harder than throwing their voices across the Princess of Wales Theatre in downtown Toronto.
As a father, there are so many little decisions and calculations to be made every day, said Wilson. “When are we going to stand behind them? When are we going to hold them and support them? When are we going to let them run off ahead of us?”
There is little that can prepare a man to become a father, he added.
Nyezi knew fatherhood would change him. “I knew it was just going to be one of those challenges I was going to face in my life, which was going to make me grow and become a different person, and I welcomed it with both arms. Whatever happens, I said, I’m going to take it in and embrace it and enjoy it.
“Fatherhood made me learn more about myself,” he added. Plus, “fatherhood teaches you patience.”
He needs patience as he waits to be reunited with his children and partner, who are back in South Africa. “You love your children wherever they are … (regardless of) distance or circumstance, the love will still be the same.”
Nyezi hopes the adventure of travelling abroad for work will set a good example for his girls, showing them that anything is possible. “I would love for them to look at me as their first role model,” he said.
He calls his family every day, sometimes wearing his Simba costume. (“What is that!” his daughter cried the first time she saw him in full stage makeup.)
‘It all becomes worth it’
The path to “The Lion King” has been arduous for both men. “I’ve had many hard nights,” Wilson said. “A lot of crying, a lot of frustration, but it’s all worth it!” Especially when his son recognizes his face on the theatre marquee or on TV, points and cries out, “It’s Daddy!”
Wilson likes to sing the musical’s songs to his toddler. “One of his favourite songs is ‘He Lives in You,’” said Wilson. It’s a tender duet between Mufasa and Simba. But it’s one thing to sing the melodies to his fellow actors, another entirely to sing them to his son.
When Wilson last tried to sing the song to his son, he started to break down and couldn’t get past the first note.
“The overarching message of the song is essentially: ‘I’m not going to be here forever,’” said Wilson. But “you will always have me here, behind you, in your heart. I will always be there.”
That’s why it’s especially important, the two men say, to pass along good teachings, of love and emotional well-being. “A child who doesn’t receive love will often turn and find love in unsafe ways. They’ll be left grasping,” Wilson said.
But, as Black fathers, Nyezi and Wilson must also prepare their children for the harsh realities that lie ahead.
Black children are not always afforded the same patience and privilege as other children, Wilson said. So he tries to teach his toddler to modulate his emotions and “act, not react” when faced with injustice. He wants to teach him to identify when things are unfair and how to properly communicate when he feels frustrated.
He wants his son to see that there is power in restraint, said Wilson. The idea comes up in the musical, too: “I’m only brave when I have to be,” Mufasa yells at Simba in the play.
“How does a leader react?” asked Wilson. “How does a leader regulate? How does a leader communicate? How would you (react) if you had people counting on you?”
It’s equally important for Black children to know they are loved and to love themselves, said Wilson. He likes to do affirmations with his son. “We do this thing where we say, ‘I am strong, I am loved, I am intelligent.’ (It’s) just a way for him to (self-regulate) when he’s feeling overwhelmed. A constant repetition. And the other day, he said it without prompting,” he added, voice breaking.
“It was one of those beautiful moments: the lessons that you’re passing on, they’re being received.”
