NEW YORK (AP) — In every career, there are plenty of consequential decisions to be made. And they tend to get more consequential as time goes on.
So it was when Gillian Murphy, one of the most admired American ballerinas for nearly three decades, began contemplating not only when, but how to retire from American Ballet Theatre.
She knew she wanted to go out on a high note. Murphy, at 46, is in incredible shape; at a rehearsal earlier this week, she was leaping and twirling like colleagues in their 20s.
But in what role should she take her final bow, after 29 years at ABT? Should it be as Juliet? As Giselle? The first of these ends up stabbing herself to death. The other goes mad.
The best (and most athletic) option, it turned out, was to jump off a cliff. That’s what Odette, the swan queen, does at the end of ABT’s version of “Swan Lake” — followed in this dramatic leap by the prince who loves her, to be joyfully reunited in the afterlife. (In real life they leap onto a mattress offstage, dust themselves off and clamber back for the finale.)
Murphy, who’s known for her Odette/Odile — especially those fouettés, Odile’s fiendishly hard whiplash turns — retired with “Swan Lake” on Friday night, ending her career in a blur of bouquets, tears and golden confetti.
The sold-out Metropolitan Opera House crowd was vocal in their appreciation, cheering her entrances and exits and giving her a standing ovation when she finished her Black Swan variation.
Once the ballet finished, the stage filled with Murphy’s fellow dancers, teachers and other ABT colleagues bearing flowers. As golden confetti poured from the rafters, Murphy hugged fellow dancers like Misty Copeland, who herself will retire from ABT with fanfare in October.
She was also greeted by her husband, former ABT principal dancer Ethan Stiefel, and their 6-year-old son, Ax, who’d just watched him mom perform at the opera house for the first time. Murphy lifted Ax off his feet and twirled him around joyfully.
Murphy spoke to The Associated Press in the rushed moments between rehearsals, classes and delayed commuter trains in the days leading up to the big occasion. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
AP: You were only 17 when you joined ABT. Now you’re 46. Did you imagine such a long career?
MURPHY: I would have never expected to be dancing this long, honestly. I think in my mind I always had 40 years old as a time frame. But I didn’t expect to feel this good at this point! I’ve truly loved my career at ABT, and it’s given me the opportunity to dance all over the world. So I’m happy I’m still here.”
AP: Ballet takes a huge amount of athletic ability. But you need to be an actor, too. How have your abilities developed as you’ve gotten older?
MURPHY: I do feel that life experience really does come out in performances. And when we’re telling these stories about true love and forgiveness and loss, all the dramatic sort of themes that come out in these ballets, it does make a difference when you’ve experienced those things in your life.
AP: Speaking of true love: Some ABT ballerinas have chosen Juliet for their retirement performance. You’ve chosen a much more physically demanding role: “Swan Lake.” Just seeing you rehearse it was exhausting.
MURPHY: (laughing) It doesn’t get any easier, yeah. I have so many favorite roles, but “Swan Lake” includes two of my most favorite, Odette and Odile. It’s always been incredibly challenging, but also so fulfilling. When I was a kid, my dream role was the Black Swan (Odile), actually. So just in a full-circle moment, it feels special to finish with this ballet that I dreamed of doing as a kid, and first did as a young soloist with ABT 24 years ago.
AP: Let’s not forget that you’re known for Odile’s fouettés (32 whiplash turns on one leg that the Black Swan performs). Are you still throwing in double turns?
MURPHY: Well, I used to throw in triples, triple pirouettes in the middle of the fouettés. Anything could happen on Friday night, but I think I just want to finish strong … and take risks elsewhere. I’ll probably aim to do the 32, possibly with a few doubles in there.
AP: It’s such a tough call in any career — how did you make the decision to retire now?
MURPHY: It’s never an easy decision for any dancer. It’s a calling from a very early age … but I’ve always wanted to finish strong and with my own sense of agency. I really relish when that sense of imagination and life experience and artistry is integrated with the physicality, the athleticism, the technique. And I feel like I’m still in that place where I can do that. So I want to finish with that sense of fullness.
AP: How have you managed to keep your conditioning so strong, for so long?
MURPHY: I never knew what to expect in terms of how long I’d be able to do this job that I love so much. But I’ve always had strong feelings about getting plenty of sleep and rest. I try to keep a daily practice of class and sometimes several hours of rehearsal, but also to take at least one day off in the week to recover. And I’ve always put a priority on being as fit and strong as possible in terms of my nutrition. So, having a really balanced diet and also enjoying desserts and just good quality, good nutritious food, I think that has helped with longevity.
AP: It sounds like you’re talking about a healthy attitude toward food.
MURPHY: A healthy attitude towards food, and also a sense of humor about myself. You know, dancers are not robots. Like an athlete, we can have an off day and (we should) not let that be too discouraging. That’s par for the course.
AP: Have there been any major injuries or setbacks along the way?
MURPHY: I’ve been pretty fortunate about bouncing back from muscle strains and things like that. I’d say coming back from pregnancy and an emergency c-section was not easy … but I was able to get onstage and do a full-length “Giselle” when my son was 8 months old. And then, a couple of weeks after that, the pandemic hit. I had just gotten everything back together.
AP: So when you hang up those pointe shoes … how do you envision spending your time?
MURPHY: I’m going to lean into coaching and staging, especially (husband) Ethan’s choreography, for the immediate future. I also want to take some time to process this huge transition and consider options and think about what I really want to do. I would be really surprised if it doesn’t involve giving back or working in some way in the dance world, because it’s so meaningful to me. Clearly, this is a lifetime pursuit.
