Doug Wallace is the Toronto-based lifestyle writer, editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He is a consummate entertainer and social convenor with strong opinions — and razor-sharp common sense. Ask your lifestyle etiquette questions at [email protected].
Destination “weddiquette” can be quite a conundrum. Instead of merely taking a cab to a country club in the suburbs, you now have to block off time at work and fly south (usually) for the better part of a week, returning home several thousand dollars poorer.
Happy couples often have a list of daytime activities they’re eager to rope you into, as well as the requisite cocktail parties and group dinners. Having to be “on” all day, attending sundry events with people you barely know, can be a real chore. It’s almost as if you’re on vacation without really feeling like it. Personally, I would rather eat my own head.
Chances are good that the couple who invited you know their Big Day Abroad requires financial and time commitments that some of their guests may not be able to afford. As such, they will be less likely to hold a “no” RSVP against you than if their wedding was just across town.
If you’re undecided, ask yourself:
1. Where does this couple rank on my friendship ladder? If they’re your besties or close family, you might have to suck it up and go.
2. Can I afford the time away from work and home? No one wants to blow seven precious vacation days if they only have two or three weeks to take per year.
3. Can I afford the actual cost? You have to add up flights and transfers, accommodations, the gift, extra food and drinks, and add-ons like insurance, activities and gratuities. (I’m assuming you already have the right clothes.)
A seven-night stay at a mid-range resort in somewhere like Cancún could cost you $6,000 to $8,000 per couple. That could buy you a full home-theatre upgrade or a really, really fun jaunt to Berlin.
My short answer to your question is: no, because it sounds like you don’t want to go. My favourite reason not to do something! Politely decline, stay home, put it out of your mind and send them a nice present when they return.
There’s nothing worse than suffering through a week-long event you’re not really going to enjoy, especially when it comes with a major cashectomy.
