As summer cottage season enters full swing, Ontario’s lakes fill with the happy sounds of young voices as they splash and jump and hop between rocks, the carefree rites of a childhood in cottage country. Just before the May long weekend, a children’s book was released that somehow balances those joys with unfathomable loss.
“The Dinosaur and the Whales” was written by Toronto dad Matthew Cammaert in memory of his daughter, Quinn, who was killed by an impaired boater in Muskoka. All proceeds will go to MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) to aid families affected by impaired driving and efforts to prevent such tragedies.
On July 14, 2001, Quinn was two weeks shy of her 14th birthday, about to start high school that fall. Her younger brother, Henry, survived the boat crash, as did their mother, Jennifer, who was seriously injured. The impaired driver of the other watercraft died at the scene.
The story is a tribute to Quinn and Henry’s bond. Aimed at kids over 4, with a sweet spot of 5-to-6-year-olds, it offers a way to talk to children about love and loss, and the power of memories made in childhood.
The book, illustrated by Huan Tran, is based on bedtime stories the siblings’ dad used to tell them about two kids who play on a trio of rocks, one that looks like a dinosaur and two that resemble the backs of whales. The real-life rocks, the ones Quinn and Henry explored together, are just off the beach near the family’s summer cottage.
In the book, Henry and Quinn play on these rocks, but one day Henry finds himself there alone. “The lake had lost its sparkle, the sky had grown dark and grey,” the text reads. So he pretends to hear the “Grrruuummmph” sound they used to imagine the rocks made when they talked to them.
The story has a heartwarming conclusion: “Henry knew that Quinn was still with him, in the bay, and everywhere he went in the world.”
Going back to the family cottage after Quinn’s death felt impossible. “The first two years after, we were going to sell it,” said Cammaert. “Henry was also in the boat, as was my wife, and couldn’t look at a body of water or even a boat in someone’s driveway.” After a lot of trauma and grief therapy, when some time had passed, “out of nowhere, one day he said, ‘I want to go back up.’ It was brutally painful. It still is if I’m being honest.”
But the cottage is where the rocks are, Henry pointed out to his dad. “He reminded me of that story. It helped bring back really positive memories of us,” said Cammaert. “It is comforting to look at those rocks and have a feeling she is close, her spirit is close.”
It was also Henry who encouraged his dad to write the book, to bring the story back to life, and to use their real names. “I think that has helped him too,” said Cammaert. In particular, seeing the illustrations of the pair is both sweet and painful and ultimately contributes to healing.
Raising awareness about the terrible cost of impaired driving has become a mission for Cammaert, who works with MADD. The statistics are sobering: Every day, 215 people are charged with impaired driving on average, as of the latest data from 2021. More than 20,000 victims end up in trauma wards per year. Death rates climbed 14 per cent year-over-year to 521 deaths across Canada in 2022.
Drinking and boating accounts for about 40 per cent of boating-related fatalities on Canadian waterways. For the loved ones of victims, it’s catastrophic. “This is a heart-wrenching story that destroyed a family. Every day is hard,” Cammaert said. “The edges get a little duller. It doesn’t get easier. I don’t ever see it going away.”
Jennifer, a teacher, sustained severe head trauma and will live with the impact of her injuries forever. Cammaert switched careers, from advertising to travel, because life had been forever altered. “I felt like I needed a different challenge and change of scenery,” he said. “It became the exact challenge I needed, both mentally and emotionally.”
Cammaert describes Quinn as an old soul. “She could interact with adults the way that few kids can. She included everybody; she hated to see people alone. She made the room brighter, she had a great big belly laugh, she was extremely athletic, a great tennis player, smart, compassionate. She just made people feel better.”
He struggled with releasing the family’s private stories and traditions into the world. But he, his wife and son hope doing so can help raise awareness and change behaviour. “The numbers for impaired driving aren’t going to change until people associate it with a life lost.”
