Doug Wallace is a Toronto-based lifestyle writer and editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He is a consummate entertainer and social convener with strong opinions — and razor-sharp common sense. Ask your lifestyle etiquette questions at [email protected].
Shopping for a mom who is always lukewarm about presents is a common source of dread. You want to find something thoughtful that doesn’t seem matronly or boring, but there are so many ways to get it wrong.
Let’s start with a few notes about what not to get. Obviously, nothing like the above-mentioned lukewarmly-received presents, or anything she already has. Stay away from gifts that seem like work, such as a portable vacuum or an air fryer.
Don’t buy clothing or jewelry unless you fully know her style or favourite designer or brand — or unless a sibling or friend with this type of expertise is also involved.
Try very hard to not buy a gift certificate, unless you’re completely stumped. While helpful, they’re just not very exciting.
Think about perishable items you know she is fond of — something indulgent and visually impressive like hand-painted chocolate truffles, French macarons or a breakfast-in-bed food hamper with pastries, fruit and jam.
Can you get creative with an experiential present, like a Nordic thermal spa treatment or a Spanish tapas cooking class? You could perhaps top up lessons she already takes part in, like ceramics, yoga or language tutorials.
Maybe it’s something you do together, to give the gift of shared time — say, a sushi-making kit. A word of caution: don’t get too woo-woo. I once gave my mother a handwriting analysis, and she thought I was daft. (And I’m not sure she ever followed through.)
Have you thought of simply asking for suggestions? There’s really no harm in this. Ask if there’s a gardening accoutrement she’s been meaning to buy or something in her office that needs upgrading, or if she has a list of books she wants to read.
If all of the above is failing you, just say it with a nice plant, a box of candy and a big, big hug. Whatever you do, don’t get a puppy.