Doug Wallace is a Toronto-based lifestyle writer and editor-publisher of TravelRight.Today. He is a consummate entertainer and social convener with strong opinions — and razor-sharp common sense. Ask your lifestyle etiquette questions at [email protected].
Whether it’s for a meal, a gift or a kindness of some sort, it’s become an oddity to see a handwritten thank-you note land in my mailbox — two or three times a year at most. When did we lose touch with this thoughtful, always appreciated and now rather nostalgic art form?
We have gotten so used to sending an email or text that we’ve forgotten how much weight a physical paper gesture can carry. But if someone goes to the trouble of, say, planning, shopping for, cooking and cleaning up after a dinner party, the least you can do is scribble a couple of lines on a card and drop it in the mailbox on the corner.
The trick is to keep a packet of note cards handy; you have to make the task easy, or you’ll be less inclined to complete it.
I have always bought postcards in art-gallery gift shops — ones that feature some of the artworks I saw that day — to use for thank-yous. Postcards have range and reach, because everyone in the home of the recipient will likely read your message, not just the person you addressed it to.
And if you’re not one of those people who always has a book of stamps in a drawer somewhere, become that person. When I use my last stamp, I make a mental note to buy some more. This is not difficult.
Now, let’s get down to the message itself.
Be brief
This will make the task a snap. (Is it really such a chore?)
Keep it simple
You don’t have to be witty unless an idea strikes you. Plain language will do fine; just get your point across in as heartfelt a way as possible.
Be specific
After social gatherings, thank the host for the evening, the conversation, the fun group of people — the experience as a whole. You don’t have to get too detailed, but referencing a particular part of the night will resonate.
Express your enjoyment
It’s important to convey your satisfaction, to literally write, “I had a great time.” This is what your host wants to hear. I always say that I ate as much as I possibly could, which, unfortunately, is always the truth.
If you feel the need to say it with flowers and candy too, by all means, go for it. Just remember that not acknowledging a good turn in some way is how losers behave. And that is definitely not you.
